You ever walk down the street and speed walk past the alley to your side? Yeah, that’s what my house is like. I don’t know why, but I don’t like talking to my parents a lot. Its mostly during the week when i get home late because I don’t like dealing with the usual drama in my house. Most days when I walk in ill hear something that i instinctively know as bad. What do you mean you lost your homework?!  I hear my mother yelling at my sister in the dining room. I quickly, yet quietly, head upstairs to my room where it only softens my mothers voice to a whisper. These yelling nights don’t end very well for me. Suddenly, I hear her shoes come up the stairs. Oh crap not me. I listen carefully in hopes I don’t hear the footsteps get closer but sadly they do. I still have hope that she will take a sharp right before my door on the left side of the hall into the laundry room. My door swings open, “And what about you mister where is your homework?!? What about that laundry i told you to do?”. Yup, today is one of those days.

I usually get home at around 6:00 pm from work and pull up to the front door and sit for a little. Then i get all the stuff i need from my car, walk up the front steps, take a deep breath, and open the door. I immediately look to my left to see if anyone is in the living room (sadly they usually are not) and walk forward past the walkway. Once i do that, i walk through the hallway and bank a sharp right up the stairs, making a quick glance beforehand to my left to see if anyone is in the kitchen or further down in the dining room. Then, once i am at the top of the stairs, i race past my parents bedroom door on my left, and take another sharp right down the hallway all the way to my room. Then i shut the door so fast, that sometimes i hit my foot and turn on the AC. I always hate when the room is quiet. I pull out the books i need to study, sit at my computer desk, put on my headphones, and get to work. About 3 hours in i start to get thirsty. By this time, my sisters are both sleeping and mom is usually in her room reading a book. My dad was easy to avoid since he was usually in the living room watching TV. I get down the end of the hallway and peek my head around the corner down the stairs into the kitchen. The lights are off so no one is there. I leap past my mother’s room down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grab a glass and pour some water. I know my dad likes to know who is in the kitchen, so before he peaks his head from the living room,  I clear my throat loudly to indicate my presence and head back upstairs into my room. Once again I leap past my mother’s room to complete the final obstacle and after that I know I am clear.

Living this way isn’t so bad but it’s not so good either. Living this way makes me resilient when it comes to life. I don’t let little bumps in the road affect me. However, i don’t really grasp emotion well and that sometimes worries me. I don’t really care about how my parents are feeling today or how my sister handled that bully in school. I don’t even know if my sister WENT to school. Some mornings I will go downstairs to find her on her computer because there was no school. Living this way will help me handle the hardships in life but i worry about when i am starting a life with someone. What if I have my kids come to me with problems and I don’t care? I simply handle my problems without incorporating emotions into it. All I ever think of when I come face to face with a problem is that soon I will be back in my room to shut the door.